sneaky shame

Been thinking about... SHAME. And been thinking that my crazy cuy husband jokingly got me to write. And write I´ve wanted... for so long now. Shauna Niequist´s fault. Among others. Anyhow. Back to shame. Just thinking this weekend that sometimes we will beat ourselves up against walls, instead of listening to what God is gently, lovingly, pruningly saying to us. Sometimes SHOUTING to us. Shouting not because He is rude, but because we won´t listen. This weekend I bravely asked the mom of my dance teacher to pray for me, as we would also be praying for her family in different ways. And after she encouraged me, and we prayed, and I received the promise that we would be praying together for many dreams and victories that we all need, I had a smile on my heart. She said something I knew and I´ve known for a while, that when we pray and intercede TOGETHER, it´s a beautiful and powerful thing. And I thought, yes! I felt so supported and encouraged. And I wondered- why is it that we let sneaky shame hold us back from sharing our burdens with each other, and being friends, and being a body?? Today my sweetest pastor was leading us in prayer and asking God that we (the congregation) could trust God to touch the deepest, ugliest, most-needing-redemption parts of us. That we could give them to Him. Sometimes giving them to him includes sharing this stuff with someone else. Leaving this beautiful lady´s presence yesterday, I had a smile thinking of the power of sharing our stuff, and how shame holds us back from what we need- grace, love, community, and intercession. I don´t want dark shame to keep me from opening my heart and receiving the freedom God has for me. It is a risk to share- but all I received from her was blessing, encouragement and grace. Instead of getting (or continuing) trapped in our own folly, I hope that we can risk love and grace and healing. And maybe receiving some more permanent victory. :)